homework

30Apr09

for another class of mine, intro to media society and the arts, we had to make a social media production, meaning i had to create something with an idea and send that idea out through social media means. so here is my final product, an advertisment for purchase college.

when i was creating this, what i had in mind was that the advertisement would use text and words and tell us that we were free, and we could “think wide open”. yet if you go to purchase college, you know that purchase college is actually a small college without much to offer. students often feel trapped or isolated, as close as the city is. i used purchase college studnets as birds. because birds are free, the advertisment says, you too can be free, but purchase represents the cage that the bird is in.


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awkward turtle

27Apr09

so i was coming back from grabbing lunch with a few friends yesterday and as we were going up the elevator, this dude, COMPLETELY violated the natural elevator ethics that was beset for all of humanity to use.  first, the dude was not standing in the place farthest from the next human body.  nor did he step aside when people wanted to get off.  also, he was totally making complete eye contact with people AND he was standing in the middle of the elevator.  i mean…COME ON!  and this got me thinking…i wanna be just like this guy.

there are a couple things you can do in public places that will make people feel strangely uncomfortable…these places, for some unknown reason, have unsaid rules and laws. morals that society has made us follow.  and the fact is, most people follow them. but who wants to follow rules? here is a way to completely break all of them and be the completely social awkward guy or girl your friends talk about.

pardon the poor diagrams.  what can i say – my mouse is my paintbrush.

an elevator
to disrupt all morals and ethics, here is what you do.

first the key to explain what the symbols mean -

so when entering the elevator,

you have the stranger (guy or girl) standing non chalantly in the back, just as they should be doing

go straight for the person.  make sure to make total eye contact.

you should end up like this:

and then when the doors closes, pick a random body part on the stranger (guy or girl) and just concentrate on it.

extra points if you manage to stand on them

in the bathroom

so a typical urinal set up in the men’s room looks like this:

and typically you’ll see a stranger head for a urinal

that’s when you should pick the urinal closest to the guy

and once again, stare at a random body part

when shaking hands

typically, when shaking hands, it looks like this

but the key to make this as socially awkward as possible is just like a woman’s monthly visitor- it’s all about timing

about when you feel like you should let go, count to 25.  yes, 25.  and continue to hold their hand.  extra points if you’re able to make your palms sweaty.

but i noticed, some people don’t think this is weird that’s when you have to start drastic measures.

don’t worry, from there, all you have to do is start rubbing your thumb around while making circular motions.

and of course while you do it,

stare at a random body part

the end.


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age & happiness

23Apr09

Age and happiness, do the two go together?

I know some very unhappy 75-year-old people, and I know some very happy ones as well. In the same vein, there are a lot of 25-year-old people who are very unhappy with their lives, and others who couldn’t be happier.

The difference is not in age, but in their attitude towards life.

When I was younger, my mother had a saying she used when I was feeling disappointed, sad, or dissatisfied. She would say: “There are others who are a lot worse off than you.” I can now appreciate how true that saying is.

No matter what happens in my life, and no matter how old I am, happiness in life does come down to your attitude towards it.

I recently was reading a book that reflected the thoughts of people who have achieved happiness in their life and the common theme with all of these people is their attitude. They always had a goal, they always looked for the good in every situation, and they always had more they wanted to achieve.

So no matter what your age, young or old,
remember it is not your age,
but your attitude towards life that will bring happiness.

Always remember age is only a date
and you determine your own fate.


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fortune cookie

15Apr09

Podcast #1: Fortune Cookie Thought of the Day #1


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daydream

14Apr09

do you ever daydream that you were a ninja? you were some ninjitsu chopping, metal star throwing, acrobatic, masked, kung-fu styling, silent stalking, jumping monkey fighter working for an elite team of ninjas that live off berries in a forest? where you would have these missions that even the best warriors couldn’t do and they needed your stealth, your expertise, your deadly touch? where you would be climbing buildings, inflitrating bases, silently doing some cartwheel across some touch sensitive security floor? going in and out of shadows as you indiscriminately kill off rent a cops, evil drug lords, and crime bosses? over that, you get the girl in the end cause you’re so damn sexy?

yeah…me neither.


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19 years

11Apr09

in 19 years you can learn a lot. ok maybe not, but you can pretend that you did. here’s 19 things i’ve learned in 19 years.

1. no matter what situation you’re in, or how bad things are, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be

2. day old sushi is code for “how to get diahhrea in 30 minutes”

3. the best way to a woman’s heart…..forget it, it’s impossible. just be yourself and hopefully she’ll notice.

4. anger is always one letter away from danger

5. elmer’s glue is not mayonnaise. i repeat, it’s not mayonnaise

6. jumping up and down really fast while someone is taking a picture of you does not make you blurry. it just gives you funny hair

7. it may be many years later when you realize this, but your mom was right afterall.

8. the faster you move the more you realize you have no idea where you’re going

9. target is the best store ever. and i mean ever. if you disagree, you’re a kmart person

10. life is like a box of chocolates…and then a girl comes and eats it all

11. 8 hours of sleep can be the difference between a bad day and a great day

12. love is the best and worst feeling in the world

13. the most beautiful people are people you’d least expect

14. smiles are contagious

15. an eye for an eye makes us all blind

16. theres always something to look forward to everyday

17. seeing children play can make even the bluest day brighter

18. in life we have control over two things, what we think, and what we say

19. don’t just stop and smell the flowers, plant some on the way as well.


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09Apr09

When I was a little kid, I was sucha gangsta.

Me


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at your house

09Apr09

picture this, your girlfriend comes over or you bring someone home but your place looks like crap. tou don’t know what to do, and you didn’t think that far ahead. but if you had taken the time to think ahead just a little bit, you could have gotten her past it. next time, make sure to have the following things, and she won’t even know how crappy your place looks. here are five things guys need at home.

Something Handmade
If you have something that you made at your place, it’ll give her the impression you’re really good with tools and can fix things. But if its crap, then you can make some jokes about how hard you tried and you could use some help.

A Wii
Girls love the Wii because it’s so interactive. Contrary to popular belief, women do like to play games. They just don’t want to play Street Fighter or some World War II battle game. Get them into a fun and easy game and you’re gold.

Something Weird/Interesting
Some guys have odd furniture or weird figurines (not too many or you’ll freak her out). This will get the woman interested and ask what it is. If she has no clue, you can take some time to explain it to her or make up a crazy story about it. Plus, it’ll make you different than most guys, unless you’re straight up weird, then good luck!

Pictures
Pictures are key. If you have them around the house, it gives them the sense that you are family oriented and have friends. No woman wants to be with a guy who has no friends or doesn’t know how to have a good time. Just avoid pictures of previous girlfriends and her family.

A Dog
Dogs are the best. They are a man’s best friend. I’ve personally seen what happens to women when a guy walks around with a dog, and believe me, they will do the job.

Unless your girlfriend is allergic to dogs.
Then you should dump her and find a new girlfriend.


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thoughts

07Apr09

Boys brag about their accomplishments, men don’t need to be recognized to know their worth. Boys think that the female race is a buffet, men realize it’s selective and costly to do that, it’s more of a fine dining. Boys want to be gangsters, men want to actually be something. Boys want sex all the time, men respect women, all the time. Boys want women to know their worth. Men? They know what a woman’s worth.


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